Far Away Words

This is why I love living in Japan. 

Constant terror. Never a dull moment. 

VIGILANCE ALWAYS!

Homeboy has some serious Wolverine hair! Oh, Tokyo!

It’s bad enough getting stood up by guys. I’ve learned my lesson well enough from those lapses in reason. I don’t even look back at those embarrassing moments too regretfully. Should I really have expected anything different? It reaches an unbearable level when you consistently get stood up and flaked out on by girl friends.

It’s amazing and brought me back to reality. Thanks for the reminder. That’s the last time I get all ready to go out. Never again will I be all dressed up with nowhere to go.

Time to let my hair down, take off my dress, wipe away the lipstick and sleep it off at 4:30pm

Tokyo is a grave.

Paper walls. Literally, I have paper walls. I can hear every single detail of the party next door. At least it feels like I have plans now. Thanks to substandard (read: piss poor) building requirements in Japan, I’ve vicariously acquired a social life.

Six months and a week left on the calendar.

I’ll be back in America.

I should be happy. In a way, I am happy. I can’t wait to get out of Japan. 

However, leaving does not thrill me. I’m terrified. I have nowhere to go and no one to see.

How does one start over and pick up the shambles of a broken, wasted life? How does one find the gumption to move on from such biting disappointments and naivety? 

I’ve grown more cynical and cold than I ever dreamt possible. I expend useless time and energy in the most populated city on Earth… and I don’t have a single friend. 

There is no substance here. I have nothing to grasp a hold onto and I cannot steady myself. What have I done? I came here full of excitement and promise. I came here expecting a career and friendships validated with good memories and photographs. 

I’ve gotten so old, so quickly. I’m threadbare and disintegrating at my own words. 

I haven’t been outside for days. 

Why are the biscuits on our heads instead of in our mouths?!

I’m an English teacher in Japan. While I’m usually wasting my time repeating the word “red” and “cat” to four-year-olds, once a week I have a conversation class in which I try to open the minds of several very bright, but very sheltered young adults. 

Last week, I asked the students to bring in an article from the news to discuss. Let’s just say I was less than thrilled when every single student brought in the exact same story. 

The biggest news in Japan is about a girl from a popular singing group seeing a boy, being shamed for it, and buzzing all her hair off. Said boy has no comment. I wanted to talk about the Algeria hostage crisis. Nope. AKB48 ruled the day. I may actually hit my head off a wall if this continues. At least I got to teach the vocabulary: misogynist, delusion, and absurd.

While it’s frustrating that THIS is the “scandal of the year” and this country is lacking depth worse than a desert lacking rain, the smell of sexist bullshit is rank. I’m seriously getting noxious fumes.

Go ahead. Read the article.